It's come to a turing point with my best female friend that I'm in love with. Advice please.?

Situation recap.I'm in love with my best female friend.I told her a few months ago through some coaxing from her.At first she said she felt the samethen she said her heart belonged to someone else.She met a guy just before he left for boot camp.H's been back for his 10 day,I'm not sure if they are still together or not,I don't bring it up.To now.I convinced myself that I've been able to push aside my feelings & continue to hang out.On some drunk evenings she can't keep her hands off me.She lets me grab and grope her anywhere but that's the extent of it.I stay the night with her sometimes but nothing happens.It's confusing why these things still happens.The other night we had this huge fight,basically her being rude and me feeling like she's taking me for granted.I'll admit that I hold stuff in and never voice if something is bothering me.I need to work on that.We spoke last night briefly.I'm not a big"talker".I like to keep the peace.But I feel like I'm becoming a different person when